Happy bitterday!!!

Bitter. It's a strong word. Still bitter? Naah. Cerita lama. Just that aku rasa cam best je bunyi happy bitterday instead of happy bithday. Used to feel bitter, tapi biarlah, dah tak larat nak pikir. Tak, aku tak marah kat sape2. A few things, yes, tapi tue semua benda2 kecil jer. Itupun bukanlah marah, more to berkecil hati. Bitter aku nie lebih pada rasa marah dengan diri sendiri. Cuma aku nie kejap kang okay, kejap kang mula la merewang ke tempat lain.

By the way, hari nie birthday aku ~ Happy birthday to him, happy birthday to him, happy birthday to pooooyo, happy birthday to himmmm ~ nyanyi untuk diri sendiri jer sudah la, siap selamba ngaku poyo lagi. Kau berani ke?! Hehehe...

Today reminds me of something. A year ago, exactly at this day, at this particular time, around 9 pm to be exact, you treat a certain birthday boy to a makan malam, MeatWorks kat Mont Kiara. Ingat lagi? I remembered well enough, every single minutes. And aku ingat lagi, dek terlupa nak amik gambar sebagai kenangan, kita decide untuk repeat lagi sekali. La nie tinggal kenangan jer.

Well. That was a year ago. Fast forward, hari nie and hari2 akan datang, you'll be celebrating someone else's birthday. Even though you were the one who decide 'jalan masing2', I shoulder the blame and took full responsibility for all our shortcomings sepanjang 7 tahun kita nie.

I just hope you knew that I really did the best I could, but I could only do so much. You did the right thing leaving me and I will never blame you for that. Sampai bila aku akan dipenuhi dengan rasa guilt, rasa bersalah nie pun aku tak pasti. Mungkin kalau umur aku tak panjang mana, itu jer lah caranya.

Ok lah, enough on that. Just baca wishes from everyone, cukup untuk buat aku rasa terubat sikit. Plenty of calls and smses. Takpe la walaupun nie satu2nya time orang akan notice "eh, Elyas...". Once a year. Tapi tak kisah pun, at least ada jugak orang yang ingat. Kalau tiap2 hari celebrate birthday kan best, terasa sangat diingati, dihargai.

Lastly, if you're reading this, I'd just like to say thanks for the wish. It was expected of you. I knew, I just knew. Just that I had nothing to say to you anymore. About barang2, I'm still working on it. So sorry. Kalau boleh memang nak settle cepat2. Nak moved on from nie semua. No need to worry about lorry, I'll come over to your place. Itu lebih memudahkan. Thanks coz bersabar. Up until now. Thanks.